It's happening again. I can't take it anymore!

"Do you mind if I call you Ryder, or would you prefer something else?" he asked casually, mentally taking note of the boy's slip up and the slight flair of anger that followed. Somewhere in the part of his mind he buried deep away, he felt a twinge of recognition. It was in that masochistic section of his memory, the thoughts he accessed to torture himself into submission when he was stepping out of line. He recognized the flash of unhappiness in the boy's face. it was the same kind of angry Felix would become when he was younger, when his mom came home, eyes wide with some sort of mind-altering substance that would keep her out of sadness for a few hours. The thoughts alone made him want to claw at his scalp, physically rip the memories from his brain. Amazingly enough, he managed to keep a casual look on his face as he fought back his own personal attack. To someone who really knew him, though, it would be obvious. He was blinking too often, but not often enough to be suspicious. He was chewing on the side of his tongue, ripping off paper-thin pieces of his flesh. His breathing wasn't really on a tempo. It was all so subtle, so unnoticeable to someone who had never witnessed one of his moments.

When Felix managed to regain his mental footing, Ryder was crouching behind the bed. The boy seemed to be hiding. He let loose a string of silent curse words, concerned that he may have done something, said something, that had put Ryder off. As far as he knew, he hadn't spoken during his little mental hiatus, but he could very well be wrong. He had a tendency to be verbally impulsive during his little episodes. They had a history of getting him into loads of trouble during school. Some of his professors had even gone as far as labeling him "unpredictable." Despite these lapses in vocal judgement, he graduated top of his class, favorite student in the majority of his professors' hearts. He didn't dare say a word now, worried that he may further frighten Ryder. He had seemed so much calmer than expected, so this transgression seemed surprising to Felix.

I have been there! I love Seaside c:

Felix watched the scene in horror. He knew he should get help. One of the doctors would know how to handle it, but his feet were cemented to the floor. Even as the scent of blood drifted into his mind, he was unable to move. He knew it was probably the worst decision he could make, but he couldn't control his feet. They quickly led him over to the boy, crossing the small room in just a few strides. He crouched down, his body shielding the boy protectively. He pried Ryder's hands off of his arms to cease the harmful actions. Without regard for the possible outcome, his arms snaked around the boy's body, lifting him up off of the ground. He held him like a man would hold his bride as he stepped over the threshold, tight against his chest with one arm in the crook of his knees and one around his chest. He hummed a soothing melody. Never before had he reacted to an episode in such an unprofessional way.

That would be amazing... And it's totally possible! That's so cool. Oh my god I never even thought about that!

Felix kept his hold on the boy. His arms were wrapped loosely enough that, were he to want to get away, he could easily wriggle out Felix's arms. But the grip was tight enough that he wouldn't fall. His arms weren't as strong as he'd been accustomed to because he hadn't had much time to get out of class and his dorm, but Ryder was light, easy to hold. Blood spotted his lightly tanned arms and stained his shirt. He didn't really mind though. It was all part of the job. Well, sort of. Usually you didn't get covered in blood because you were cradling your patient like a child. He was surprised, at that point, that no one had come in. Usually they kept cameras in the rooms so they knew when a patient was having an attack and they could respond immediately. He was glad no one had come in though. Ryder would probably get scared or mad, and that was the last thing he needed at that point.

Felix continued his hushed humming, slightly rocking the boy in his arms. He could feel as the boy began to relax, his tensed muscles slackening with each ticking second. He allowed the boy to choose if he wanted to stay in his arms, and when he made his decision, he couldn't help the smile that curled up his lips. It was kind of sweet the way Ryder was curled in his arms, his face nuzzled up against Felix's warm neck. The boy's breath fanning over his skin felt almost relaxing to him. The whole moment would be slightly adorable if they weren't in the setting that they were in.

Felix couldn't help but feel just a little bit sad as Ryder freed himself from his grip and ran to hide, but he hid his feelings well. He put on a gentle smile and held out his hand for Lenna. "Hello, Lenna. I'm Felix. I guess you could say I'm a worker here, unpaid though. They don't like to pay people who don't have college graduate certificates," he said in a light tone, his eyes twinkling. He had that natural charm emanating from him as he spoke, not that he meant for it to happen. It just kind of did without him trying.

"He's been wonderful. Don't worry about it, miss. I think he's fairly nice, but that may just be me," he said with an easy shrug, his eyes going to where Ryder was. He let his gaze go back to Lenna after a moment and his smile regained it's easy casualty. He stuffed his hands in his pocket, not even really noticing the blood that caked his shirt and his ivory arms. "So, would you like to go talk in the hall, leave him in peace? Or would you like me to leave, so you two can have some time together?" He really didn't want to leave, but he knew he should be polite. Plus, he would have to go inform someone that Ryder had experienced an episode and someone needed to get in and check on the scrapes on his arms.

"I hope to see you again soon!" Felix said as she ducked out of the room. He then turned around to look at Ryder. He asked, "Mind if I sit down?" gesturing to the little, white chair in the corner. His legs were slightly tired from holding Ryder up for so long. He couldn't help but find it sweet that the boy's sister had stopped by just to bring Ryder candy. It was good to see that someone cared about the boy, and usually that helped kids get better faster.

Felix sat next to Ryder, his long legs crossed in front of him. He leaned back against the bed, his shoulders slumping slightly. The tension from earlier immediately left his being as he relaxed into a comfortable position. He wanted to talk to Ryder, ask him questions and learn everything, but he forced himself to hold back. They were in a good place, even though it was quiet. He knew that Ryder trusted him which was what he wanted, and he didn't want to push his luck. Plus, the quiet was kind of nice. The only noise being the crinkling of the gummy bear bag.

"You should tell me something about yourself. Anything you want, just something, yeah?" he asked, a curious smile gracing his thin lips. He couldn't help but want to know more about the boy, and not the things he could read in files made up by therapists who only had one goal with no willingness to learn anything else about him. Ryder was more than just some jumble of problems. He was a person, too, and his affliction didn't define his character.

Felix glanced at his wrist, forgetting that he'd taken his watch off this morning. With a sigh, he heaved himself to his feet and said, "I'll leave you alone. I have some homework to work on." He offered another kind smile at Ryder as he walked to the door. Everything about him seemed relaxed as he sauntered to the door. "I'll see you later, Ryder!" he said, his voice bright. He tapped on the door so the doctor would let him back into the hallway.

Felix offered him a lopsided grin and he slowly lifted his hand, brushing a few stray hairs out of Ryder's eyes and straightened the boy's glasses. He let his hand fall back to his side. He stuffed both of his hands in his pockets. His fingers absently played with the threads in his pocket.
His eyes locked with Ryder's. In a sincere voice, he said, "Of course I'll come back. If you want me to come back sometime, and I'm not here, just tell someone to go get me, yeah? And I'll come on over as fast as I can. I promise."