Finding Ourselves

Max's eyes widened a bit as he said, "That doesn't sound very safe..." He knew it wasn't his place to comment, but he was protective of people he cared about. This sounded like something where he couldn't do anything if something bad happened. He wasn't good with situations like that. They made him overly nervous.

Beaux nodded, smiling a bit at the boy's concern. He thought it to be cute that Tobias was worried about Beaux's health. He wasn't used to people worrying about him, not since he moved to California and left his brother. Daniel wasn't a bad roommate, he was just a more keep to yourself kind of guy.

Atticus, highly intoxicated, stumbled to the door. Before he twisted the knob, he tugged his sleeves down over his wrists protectively. Then he tossed the door open casually. His eyes widened slightly at the freaking Greek god in front of him. He was suddenly, terribly self conscious of how thin he was with his shirt not even small enough to fit him. He was conscious of how I muscular he was, his arms hanging limply at his side. He was hit by a wave of insecurity.

Max had to force himself not to say anything. He kept telling himself that it was Blaze's life and he could do what he wanted. It didn't ease his mind one bit he sat in the passenger seat, keeping his eyes on the road, his hands resting limply in his lap. It wouldn't be fair of him to argue with Blaze on the safety of his pastimes, and he knew it wouldn't do anything to change his mind.

Beaux glanced over at Tobias playing with what he had always seen as a children's toy. He sighed internally and said, "Hey, I'm sorry if this is really boring. Don't worry though. We probably have today and two or three days after, so it's not too much longer that you have to deal with it. Then you'll be home free."

Atticus chewed at his thumb nail, staring at Miles timidly. He was unsure why there was a terribly gorgeous, half-naked man in his bedroom. Part of him just marveled at how attractive the guy was and part of him envied the stranger. This guy was the kind of person Atticus wanted to be. Sadly, he was the exact opposite, and he could do nothing about it.

It didn't really ease Max much. Cheating death meant you had to get in a near death experience. He forced himself to smile and nod. He just prayed that Blaze was right and everything would be okay. If something happened, he would never forgive himself for letting Blaze get in the car. His eyes watched the buildings and passing cars with disinterest. He just had to keep himself from looking at the younger boy.

Beaux nodded. He wasn't a good conversationalist, and he felt bad about it. He didn't want Tobias to be bored, but he didn't know what to say. He had troubles talking to everyone except his brother. It was just part of who he was as a person. He'd always been quiet and his dad used to say that if he didn't learn to talk then, he never would.

Atticus was completely frozen. Normally he would flinch away when someone touched him, but he couldn't move. This guy was so close to him. When he started to lean down to kiss him, Atticus' heart sped up. His intoxicated mind was already scrambled, so he reacted how he imagined you were supposed to respond when someone kisses you. He let his eyes close and waited.

Max looked at himself and mumbled sarcastically, "I'm just gonna fit in great." He opened the door and climbed out. Even though he was wearing his hoodie and skinny jeans, he still stood out. He was obviously devoid of drugs and alcohol and he didn't really look like a rebellious teenager. Even in his relaxed attire, he felt to dressed up to be here.

Beaux finally said, "Look, I know it's a lot of pressure, but you should tell me a story because its kind of quiet." He didn't know what prompted him to speak, but he just did. He didn't like the silence between them although it wasn't uncomfortable. He just felt better when someone was talking.

Atticus wasn't sure how to kiss, seeing as he'd never kissed anyone, but he managed to decently kiss Miles back. His lack of finesse could easily be confused as drunken-ness. He let his hands tangle in Miles' hair. He decided it felt natural that way. The hand on his over exaggerated hip sent little warning chills up his spine that said, "Watch out. He might notice."

"I look like I'm going to a frat party," Max muttered more to himself. He was always very self-aware and he could be a bit critical of himself. He tugged at the strings of his red lifeguard jacket that his sister had bought him while she was in California. He wore it a lot on weekends, but he hardly ever wore it to work because he thought it was unprofessional.

Beaux shrugged. He thought for a minute and said, "Whatever you want. Surprise me!" He kept driving, glancing quickly at his phone GPS. He wanted to make sure they stayed in the right direction. He couldn't afford to lose any extra time by taking a wrong turn.

Atticus flinched when Miles' hands trailed up his chest. He was painfully aware that the boy could probably feel each and every one of his ribs. He forced himself not to shove the hands away. Instead, he leaned into his touch, his fingers tugging at Miles' hair slightly. He didn't know why he was kissing this guy. As far as he knew, he was straight. He reasoned that it was the alcohol and his intense desire to be wanted by someone.

Max happily took the coat. He was about to put it on when the girl came up. He listened to them talk, smiling a little. He thought she seemed nice. When she addressed him, his eyebrows furrowed. He was unsure of what he was supposed to say. After a moment, he said, "Uhm.. Yeah, I'm Max Irons." He stuck out his hand to shake hers. Blaze's leather coat hung over his other arm casually. He wanted to put his jacket in Blaze's car, but he figured he should be polite and wait.

Beaux chuckled at the story, "That sounds like something my roommate would do. He has a sick sense of humor, and he loves to scare people. Come to think of it, he'd actually be an awful person if he wasn't so good. He's going to med school to become a doctor. Then he's going to work overseas. He's a crazy, mixed-up, contradiction."

Atticus moved the direction that Miles' aimed him. He fell back on the bed when his legs hit the mattress. His fingers let go of the boy's hair just in time, dragging down his chest. He looked up at him under his long lashes with his timid eyes, chewing on the inside of his cheek. He didn't know what he was supposed to do next, so he waited for instruction.

"Nice to meet you, mate," Max said with a quirky grin. When the two of them were talking, he decided he should put on the coat. He laid the leather jacket on the hood of Blaze's car, and took his own jumper off. His shirt went with the coat. When he managed to get his coat off and pull his shirt down, he sheepishly said, "Sorry." He then pulled the leather coat over his arms. It fit him perfectly, giving him a dangerous look. He snapped it up halfway and ran a hand through his hair, messing it up.

Beaux nodded, "They both sound off their rockers if you ask me..." He didn't mean it in a rude way, just a matter-of-fact statement. He gave Tobias a cheeky sidelong glance, his smile glinting mischievously in the morning light.

Atticus tentatively shimmied himself out of his shirt. He was obviously way too skinny for his lanky figure. His arms were marred with too many scars to count. His skin was a sickly pale that had a dead, gray tint. He bit his lip nervously, watching Miles' eyes to catch his reaction. His heart was pounding fearfully. He was terribly drunk, but his insecurities still crept into his mind, beginning to take priority over his other thoughts.

Max watched him go, his eyes slightly worried but also just plain needy. He just didn't like him not being around. He did have to admit it was nice to wear Blaze's jacket, the sme of his cologne writhing around him, still warm from when he had been wearing it. Once Blaze was out of sight, Max turned his attention to Sam and said, "So how long have you and Blaze been friends?"

Beaux raised his eyebrows curiously, "You say it like you won't ever see them again. If its because you don't have a way home, I can pick you back up on my way back to the West Coast. It's not that far out of the way. I don't know when I'll be coming back, but..." He hoped he wouldn't come back for a long time. He didn't want his brother to die.

Atticus kissed him back, eager to forget his insecurities if even just for an hour or two. One of his hands was against the back of Miles' neck, the other on his side. His lips moved in a clumsy sort of way, but one that was inexperienced and endearing. He wasn't sure why he'd never kissed anyone considering how amazing it felt.

Max kept his responses toned down. He wasn't sure if Blaze wanted his friend to know that they had a thing, and Max thought it better if no one knew anyways. He could lose his job. They just had to wait until after graduation. It was only a year. Then they could do whatever they wanted.
He did, however, feel surprised at hearing her explanation of him. He looked over at her and said, "The military? What branch?"

Beaux couldn't help himself when he said, "You're an awful liar..." He knew he wasn't supposed to question it, but he couldn't leave that observation unsaid. Plus, he thought Tobias was cute when he got frazzled, and he was definitely willing to let the boy suffer just a bit so he could see that.

I don't care haha(: whatever you'd prefer.

Max nodded an mumbled to himself, "Interesting." When she told him Blaze's number, he quickly found it among the cars. He sent a quick prayer that the boy would be okay just as the announcer said go. Max watched the cars with intense seriousness, waiting to see what this race was all about. Blaze obviously enjoyed it, so he figured he should see what it was all about.

Beaux rolled his eyes at the feeble attempt to divert his attention. "Look, kid, I'm not saying you have to tell me the truth, but you're an awful liar, and trying to feign a tree fetish isn't going to change that." His voice was light-hearted, more like he was poking fun than being mean. He didn't want to hurt Tobias' feelings, and he couldn't help but watch the younger boy's face. He thought it was too adorable the way he acted when he was nervous.

Uhmm I guess we can take it to private messages? Haha

Max watched, perplexed at the way the race worked. It reminded him of when the twins were younger and they would play games on the Nintendo64 together. He remembered to win you had to hit as many cars as possible without totaling your own. He guessed that this was similar to the guidelines of Blaze's races. His most vivid memories of that game were the days when his car would get crushed by two cars sandwiching him.

Beaux nodded, "I figured that one out. I mean you could go to Harvard with the way you talked about your grades. And anyone who wants to be anyone in the lawyer field goes to Harvard Law. That's just common sense."

I was born without knowledge of boundaries, so I guess however far you're comfortable with haha.

There it was, Max's worst nightmare being realized. He watched in utter shock as the car rolled, silently praying that Blaze was okay. He was grounded to the spot he stood in, watching. He was waiting for the car to stop moving and for Blaze to live up to his stage name and drive off like he hasn't just nearly died. He couldn't have a panic attack. Not here, in front of Blaze's friend, in front of hundreds of strangers. And he doubted they would allow him out onto the track if he sprinted down there, so he didn't move. He didn't breathe. He just watched.

"South America or Europe?" He asked casually, as though Tobias hadn't just suggested that he planned on fleeing the country in a few short days. He found it to be unnecessary to overreact to things that were out of your own control, so he stayed calm and collected, instead opting for casual conversation.

Max shook his head, "No he's not." He didn't mean to be a pessimist, but he could feel it in his gut. This wasn't right. There was no way Blaze could walk away from that unscathed. Most people wouldn't walk away from that alive. Then a horrific thought settled upon him. What if Blaze cheated death one to many times. You only got so many chances. He felt sick to his stomach and he wanted to run down to where the boy was. He wanted to hold him and watch him smirk and hear him say something oddly cocky like he would.

Beaux smiled slightly, a warm smile with a bit of life to it. He said in a wistful voice, "Greece is beautiful, especially this time of year. My grandma was Greek, so we visited her a few times when I was a bit younger. I loved going to see her."